Introduction
Question the Qweeb is Liv ur Life's official advice column. Ask for some Qweeberly advice about anything at all in comment (tweet) section above and I will answer it to the best of my ability. You may choose to remain anonymous and give yourself a nickname instead of commenting using your real name. Well, what are you waiting for? Ask away! :)
if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Dear prof Qweeb
Why is it that when someone tells you that there's a billion stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
Dear Anonymous,
Well, first of all, not everyone will want to touch the 'wet paint'. I know I wouldn't risk it; I hate having to wash out stubborn stains on my hands. On the other hand, some people simply have to touch the paint, just to satisfy their curiosity on whether you're telling the truth. And don't people usually believe scientific facts like there are billions of stars in the universe? But if there really are people out there who refuse to believe it until they see the billion stars in the universe for themselves, then that is just plain weird.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, August 25th, 2011
Anonymous said...
Dear Question the Qweeb,
Hi I'm new to this blog and I saw that you have an advice column so I thought I'd try it out!
I have this rash on my back and its been getting bigger and more itchy. I keep telling my parents but they just won't listen, they thing it's nothing. But I'm sure it's not. I would really like to seek medical help but I can't cause my parents think it'll go away! What do I do?
Hi I'm new to this blog and I saw that you have an advice column so I thought I'd try it out!
I have this rash on my back and its been getting bigger and more itchy. I keep telling my parents but they just won't listen, they thing it's nothing. But I'm sure it's not. I would really like to seek medical help but I can't cause my parents think it'll go away! What do I do?
Qweeb says...
Dear Anonymous,
If your parents are often like this, brushing aside your problems and telling you that no course of action is required, you must be frank and let them know that you know what's best, not them. In this case, you should tell them, "I know my own body; the rash is getting worse and worse and it will only get 'better' if I go to the doctor. NOW." Make sure you look and sound completely serious (furrowed eyebrows, wide stern eyes, gritted teeth, you know the drill) and express your sense of urgency and resolve.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, June 2nd, 2011
Anonymous said...
if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Qweeb says...
Dear Anonymous,
Who says you have to tell them to go somewhere to show your anger? Just hurl fiery sulphur at them or whatever else that's lying around.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who says you have to tell them to go somewhere to show your anger? Just hurl fiery sulphur at them or whatever else that's lying around.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, June 2nd, 2011
Anonymous said...
Dear prof Qweeb
Why is it that when someone tells you that there's a billion stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
Qweeb says...
Well, first of all, not everyone will want to touch the 'wet paint'. I know I wouldn't risk it; I hate having to wash out stubborn stains on my hands. On the other hand, some people simply have to touch the paint, just to satisfy their curiosity on whether you're telling the truth. And don't people usually believe scientific facts like there are billions of stars in the universe? But if there really are people out there who refuse to believe it until they see the billion stars in the universe for themselves, then that is just plain weird.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, May 30th, 2011
Anonymous said...
how do you rob a bank?
Qweeb says...
Dear Anonymous,
I'm sorry to say that we don't live back in the day where you can just wear a pantyhose around your head, mosey on into the bank with a gun and sack, hold everyone at gunpoint and help yourself to the cash. In this day and age, take my wise advice and don't even think of robbing a bank.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, May 30th, 2011
Anonymous said...
dear qweeb,
how do i take care of a wedgie in public?
Qweeb says...
Dear Anonymous,
Simply take you and your wedgie out to Raffles City and sort out the mess, there'll be plenty of publicity over there.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, May 30th, 2011
Anonymous said...
Dear Qweeb,
how are you supposed to react when there's a creep in your bible study?
Qweeb says...
Dear Anonymous,
There's not much you can do to react. Act normally, keep calm and composed. Arm yourself with a fake phone call from your parents on demand, pepper spray, and other basic defensive equipment, and be ready to use them at any point in time.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, May 30th, 2011
Anonymous said...
Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?
Qweeb says...
Dear Anonymous,
It really depends on the individual. Some may find that shampoo is better for their scalp skin over soap, and vice-versa. However, I do believe that majority prefer to use shampoo. Although your question seems to be the factual type of question which I would naturally ignore, I've taken it that you are in fact an individual who is having a difficult time choosing between soap and shampoo for your scalp. So, I advise you to just try out different things and then settle for whichever suits your scalp best. Be careful with what you use, especially if you know that your scalp skin is sensitive. I also suggest that you polish your head; shiny bald heads seem to be trending among middle-aged men.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, November 28th, 2010
Anonymous said...
What do I do if a chicken enters my house and lays eggs on my bed and raises a family right in the middle of my bedroom?
Qweeb says...
Dear Anonymous,
Well, in this situation, there's only one advisable solution. Since the chicken was from the streets, who knows where it's been and what diseases it may carry! Hence do not keep the chicken family as pets.
I suppose you could try to sell them off to someone, but who'd want stray and possibly sick chickens? So, it seems as if the only option is to simply chase them out of your house. Use something like a huge broom, or vacuum, or dog. If all else fails, call the exterminator.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, November 5th, 2010Well, in this situation, there's only one advisable solution. Since the chicken was from the streets, who knows where it's been and what diseases it may carry! Hence do not keep the chicken family as pets.
I suppose you could try to sell them off to someone, but who'd want stray and possibly sick chickens? So, it seems as if the only option is to simply chase them out of your house. Use something like a huge broom, or vacuum, or dog. If all else fails, call the exterminator.
-Prof Qweeb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anonymous said...
Dear qweeb,
i hate my sister. how can i take revenge on her?
i hate my sister. how can i take revenge on her?
Qweeb says...
Dear Anonymous,
Ahh, sibling rivalry. How can you take revenge on your sister, you ask? Only you can figure out the best way to take revenge on her, because you are the one who knows her best. I could give you the main idea, but you'll have to plan the details yourself.
There are so many things you could do. What annoys her the most? You sneezing and coughing all over her make-up set? You jumping on her bed with your dirty gym socks on? You drawing a mustache and unibrow on her while she's sleeping? Just do whatever you deem super-annoying until you obtain the desired result: her driven to a state of hysteria.
Warning: Have a safety helmet, goggles and bullet-proof vest handy in case she really blows up.
I have to strongly caution you, though, before you finalise your decision to take revenge. Why? Taking revenge is akin to initiating war. Why? Because she may want to take revenge on you for taking revenge on her, and then you'll want to take revenge on her for taking revenge on you for taking revenge on her, and there you have it, a massive sibling war is born.
So, a sneaky alternative is to put on a hurt, doe-eyed face and go right up to her. Say something like "Although you (name the offence), I'll let it pass..." Then let your eyes droop and slowly, painfully walk away. She'll feel so bad and soon you'll be enjoying star treatment from her!
Well, another war or star treatment, the choice is yours!
-Prof Qweeb
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, November 1st, 2010
Anonymous said...
Dear Qweeb,
How do I tell me boyfriend that I love him?
Anonymous said...
Dear Qweeb,
How do I tell me boyfriend that I love him?
Qweeb says...
Dear Anonymous,
Although I know that was just a for-fun question, I'll answer it anyway. :)
I can give you a few suggestions, but the choice is ultimately yours. You've got to put in your own personal touch to show you're sincere. Just one main pointer: don't beat around the bush, go straight to the point. You don't have to be all elaborate and flowery if that's not your style. Scribble a simple note, send an email or just say it verbally. Just do it your way. Corny or casual, who cares! (at least, I don't).
-Prof Qweeb
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.png "English"){kind=small}
